Now you know...

When Paul Harvey was on ABC Radio he did several shows each day, but the one most people remember is “The Rest of the Story.”

Mr. Harvey would spend about two minutes spinning a yarn, and you could try to figure out where he was going before he actually got to the end. When you beat him to the punch it was actually a bit exciting, since it was often like completing a puzzle.

I bring up Paul Harvey because I am sure some of my friends are wondering how the heck I got a story in Monday’s issue of the Charleston Daily Mail, seeing that I live about 2,500 miles from West Virginia. 

(As an aside, when I lived in Winchester I was about 25 miles from Martinsburg, W.Va., but it seemed like it was 2,500 miles across the state to get to Charleston. The route to Cincinnati went like this: Virginia-West Virginia-Maryland-West Virginia-Pennsylvania-West Virginia-Ohio. If you told me I had to go back into West Virginia to get to Indiana, I’d probably believe you.)

About three weeks ago, Christina and I were looking for a baseball game to attend, and two of our favorite teams (Fullerton and UCLA) were both out of town. Also, it had rained most of the weekend, throwing the schedule for the teams that were hosting games (LMU, USC and Cal State Northridge) into disarray. When everything shook out, Northridge was hosting a doubleheader against Washington State, starting at 10 a.m. Sunday, and since we had never been to a game there, it seemed like the place to go.

While the school requires a $6 daily parking permit, even on weekends, it was nice that tickets are just $5. We also picked up a couple of programs and a schedule, and almost immediately I noticed that West Virginia was making a trip to Northridge in mid-March.

Max Nogay sports WVU's digital camo.

Thanks to my smartphone, I was able to check with Daily Mail Sports Editor Chuck McGill on Facebook while still at the site. Chuck and I worked together at the Northern Virginia Daily for a few years, and have been able to stay in touch over the years and miles.

Chuck said it was quite possible he’d want a story while the Mountaineers were in Northridge, which is about 45 minutes to an hour up the 405 from Torrance. By the time they got here, we worked it out that I would file a story and some photos on March 15, after the final game of their spring break trip.

 The game turned into a wild 14-11 WVU victory, which featured 38 hits between the teams, allowing the Mountaineers to complete their West Coast swing with a 5-2 record, and raise their overall mark to 10-6. Now competing against teams from Texas and Oklahoma in the Big 12, it was important for WVU to get on the diamond while its home ballpark is still under snow, coach Randy Mazey told me.

West Virginia is building its baseball program as it prepares to move into a new stadium in Morgantown next year, one it will share with a New York-Penn League team, similar to the arrangement that Penn State and the State College Spikes have. From what I saw Saturday, the Mountaineers have put together a solid team, so it will be fun to keep an eye on them the rest of the season.

And I will be sure to keep an eye on the schedules when East Coast teams come west. If you need a story or art, give me a shout.

P.S. Here's a link to the story: http://www.charlestondailymail.com/Sports/WVUSports/201403160134

Cheesed off

So the European Union wants American food manufacturers to stop using words like Parmesan and feta to describe cheeses made here in the United States.

The Associated Press reports that this request has come as part of negotiations for new trade agreements between the old and new worlds. The EU says allowing American-made cheeses to carry those names, as well as others like Asiago, Gorgonzola and Romono, confuses consumers and hurts sales of European products.

I’d say the EU is full of baloney on this one, but it might want the word “bologna” back as well.

According to reporter Mary Clare Jalonick, who wrote the AP story on this issue earlier this week, Black Forest ham, Greek yogurt, Valencia oranges and prosciutto are other terms that the Europeans could endeavor to reclaim.

When I first saw this story, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t something out of the Onion. Speaking of which, I’m guessing if the U.S. goes along with this, we’ll probably be hearing from Bermuda next.

While changing the names of meats and cheeses sounds like a far-fetched request, and you’d think nations in the New World would just tell the EU to pound sand, some Central American countries and Canada have already acceded to the European demands. In the case of feta, Canada has agreed to market non-European versions under mouth-watering names like feta-like or feta-style, and will also refrain from using"Greek-like lettering" on the packaging.

There’s probably a joke about bacon vs. Canadian bacon to be made here, but since I really like their coffee and beer, I’m going to take a pass.

These names have now transcended their origination, and to capitulate on this issue will lead to only MORE confusion among American consumers. And in many cases, the connection is tenuous at best.

For instance, I had no idea that there is a region of France in the Vosgian mountains where there is  an abbey called “Munster.” All I know is that my grandmother’s recipe for pizza calls for Muenster cheese (notice the extra “e”) because it melts better and has more taste than mozzarella. If it has been called Muenster long enough that it’s used in a recipe that goes back at least 75 years, then I don’t need the EU telling me (or Dietz and Watson) to stop using the name.

And these names extend well beyond the deli. Thanks to “Jeopardy!” I know that Italian immigrants began using the word “cantaloupe” for muskmelons because of their similarity. I’m sure the EU wants its cantaloupe back too, even though the ones grown here are probably ten times better.

Our Smarties are different than their Smarties. And their Kit Kats are made by Nestle, not Hershey (can you imagine?), but the world has not collapsed.

U.S. Senate Democrats and Republicans, who agree on almost nothing, have found common ground fighting the EU request. The AP says a bipartisan group of 55 senators have written U.S. Trade Representative Michael Froman and Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack to ask that they resist requests to change the long-standing names associated with these foods.

This issue isn’t small potatoes. American-produced cheese is a $4 billion a year industry, according to the AP. Trying to get producers together to come up with standardized new names for these products is probably impossible.

Considering freedom of speech issues that would come along with this, I cannot imagine we’ll see food police penalizing grocery store managers for the use of words like scallion and Parmesan. It seems like a giant leap for Europeans to tell Americans what they can call their edibles.

But if we can use this issue for some consensus building in the Senate, then I am all for fending off the threat, as unlikely as it is.